Overview: Well I know I have picked up a very sensitive topic which might not have a definite ending and conclusion, also it can be quite a long one and I seriously have no clue where to start from. The objective is not to showcase the various rituals we follow in India but point out some, discuss my queries and honestly I have infinite questions on how it all must have started and the logic behind it. I am sure that there must have been some logic behind it because no object or living thing is without any logic or purpose.
What interests me is, if that particular object or living thing was created for personal need or someone else's destruction. So here I go and present some of the mind boggling queries or thoughts I have about the rituals. I think there is a very thin line between rituals and superstitions. Well some rituals really has scientific reasons but we choose to ignore that and associate with God. Classic case in India: if someone doesn't listen to your orders then create fear - fear of god, demons or of dire consequences or fear of the superior person (who loves to order every now and then). We love associating everything to God - mostly failures, loss, bad fate and very few remember him in good times.
I have no issues following the rituals that really makes sense and is absolutely useful. Let me take you through my thoughts on these:
Rituals - Made To Order
An action strongly made to follow by a superior person or by a group of people becomes a ritual.
Though not everything was meant to be a ritual but over a period of time we people make it a ritual. For eg. Sharing images of everyday life or an important event on a social networking site has become a ritual today for most of us.
Marriage rituals: Why any type of jewellery is so important and has become a ritual e.g. I sympathize with all Indian brides who have to go to the torture of wearing "Khandaani" or traditional jewellery only because your grandmom/grand aunt/fore mothers had used it and all of your community does it (Well if you like it and admire it then its totally ok). Why is any body part so important that you have to adorn it with jewellery and why wearing it signifies that you are married and why does your jewellery inform the world that you are married. Why does the new Bahu has to cook something meetha (mostly halwa in the northern states) when she enters the new house.
- Crack Code: Well today technology has helped us to live better and comfortably....what I mean is facebook is the new identity for many of us and of course many other social sites that lets you be what you want to be. One can choose to reveal the status online and yes the whole world comes to know. Secondly jewellery or maang tikka or finger ring doesn't signify how good or bad partner you are but your actions does. Another thing about jewellery, those days the goldsmith used to make amazing designs only for the dynasty rulers and others used to get common designs. As and when our economy progressed we invented new things and today we have amazing opportunities to have new designs so why not explore and experiment..? Move over Halwa, she can make you some nice desserts and btw why does she has to prove if she is a good or bad cook, is she eligible for some Veer Chakra/Honour/Medal?
Also the type of jewellery was also dependent on lot of factors i.e. geographic location, financial status..so if corals were available in plenty down south then it was obvious that it was used for marriage purpose or may be worn just to look prettier.
Well I guess woman always wanted to look beautiful and to fulfill their desire to look pretty, jewellery was invented. Also it does add to the overall look. Secondly may be in earlier days women were easy victims and there was no written law and order and just to avoid any harm towards her she was married at an early age and made to wear "designated" trademark jewellery ie black bead (mangalsutra), sacred yellow thread etc. The trademark could have helped her to inform that she is someone else's responsibility.
I still don't know the significance of wearing corals or diamonds...and the compulsion of wearing diamond earrings and nose-rings on the marriage day. As I said I can go on and on...there are so many things - rules and regulations for attire, expectations from the bride and groom, expectations from the brides family, food, food and food - ritual to send daughter in law back to maikaa for few days and get her back....so that all relatives can relish the feast again and compare and comment on everything possible. Thank god atleast in some places there is a ritual to send the new bride back to her parents house for few days, sigh of relief and she can have some peace time:)
Coming back to rituals there is another one ie. events prior to the marriage - mehendi, haldi etc. I am sure that Turmeric was applied to make the bride's skin glow and get her ready for the first night so that her husband feels worth the investment but I guess the whole event of applying turmeric became an occassion for everybody to partake. Since then there were no other means of entertainment and all members of the family and community would come together to be part of such occasions.
Scientific reason of applying turmeric was to make the bride look prettier and cover her facial and body hair. These days we can simply replace it by bleaching and facials, I would still go for turmeric as it is natural and has great beautifying attributes. Mehendi has a cooling effect and the color must be of significance. May be the red color made the bride look prettier.
Birth and Death Rituals: In some parts of India, when a baby is born the family members are not supposed to visit the temple... isn't god supposed to be with us all the time - in our everyday life, happiness and sorrows. No idea about the cycle of days we follow when someone passes away and why we are not allowed to visit temple even during this period.
The logic of odd numbers is something I haven't understood. I do know that mathematics has been in use since ancient days but why odd numbers are supposed to be lucky/good numbers for auspicious occassions eg. Offer 3 or 5 fruits for puja, etc. Also what abut the rituals for people who live on the streets? Do they go to hell?
Daily Rituals: Take bath before entering the temple (thank god we have water facilities) but what about people living in water scarcity areas? How can water cleanse your heart? During periods one should not enter the temple? Well everything has been created by God, then would God really bother if someone has taken bath or having periods? Wouldn't God be interested to know if one really cares about others and if they are really helping others.
A body donated to Ganga post death will ensure that one has good karma in next birth or the life's journey was satisfying....hmmm..What about the pollution that is causing your Ganga ma to suffer?
Sacrifice/Torture Rituals: Why we have to sacrifice something in the name of rituals to please someone. Not only sacrifice but also hurt ourselves..I have seen some religious procession where people beat themselves, pierce sharp objects on their faces, throw fire balls, etc. Does it ensure that all the people partaking are safe? Why not do some good karma and please everybody.
Superstitions: I don't know how many of you all must have heard your mom/grandmom telling you not to chip nails in the night or trim hair on birthdays. Well sometime back I really was very busy with my work life and could hardly remember to chip nails and the time I used to find is the night time or late evenings. I would have loved to do it secretly but I guess over a period of time you tend to act the way your elders have trained you. Even at 6pm I could hear mom saying...oh no..its evening time you are not supposed to chip nails..and my mind would go bonkers with the universal question "Why"?
- Crack Code: Well in earlier days I guess there were no electricity and certainly not everyone had the privilege of nail cutter or may be it was invented then and so one was advised to chip nails in the day time. Simple isn't it. But no we love complicating things and we love ordering the younger generatio
I can still go on and on. There are so many of them we hear in our everyday life. Even today in the name of rituals lot of innocent people are taken for ride and in some states majorly women are victim of superstitious rituals.
Conclusion: I am not against the rituals but rituals should make sense and not make one lose their individuality. A ritual should benefit the society at large and not cause destruction. A ritual should help the person grow in life but not restrict the growth.
Please share your comments and feedback. Thank You.
